Dealing with loneliness is something every person at a point in their lives,had to deal with.
At the outset,we need to clarify what loneliness means. Loneliness is an emotional state.
This is a state where people encounter a disengagement from people around them.
Added to that, there is a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders the company around them meaningless.
This individual may perhaps be in a big crowd or by himself, married or single,young or old.
It comes down to these individuals,finding it very challenging to relate with others around them.
This is not to be confused with being alone.
Being alone does not equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for a person to be alone and at times it could be very refreshing as the person has the opportunity to refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of their lives.
Loneliness is an emotional response,you might feel at times that it is a perpetual state,but it is not.
No matter how much it all hurts,it will pass.
Every person is different,and there are some people upon hearing a good story or watching a great movie they relate to,will feel uplifted.
You might happen to be feeling lonely due to an unexpected alteration in your life,such as the death of a loved one,or a big event in your life.
If this happens to be the case,it will do you a world of good to acknowledge to yourself that it makes sense to feel the way you do,but that things will change with the passage of time.
You believe your problems are so exceptional that other people do not understand
As a result, you feel that other people in the world has friends and you don't
You feel extremely self-conscious in everything you do
You feel that when you do something that is improper, you get extremely humiliated
When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned by their voices
You feel disconnected with the crowd even though you are with them
Feeling shy and scared of others
Experiencing low self-esteem
Feeling angry, defensive and critical at everything even if it is not directed at you
Not comfortable among strangers
Being convinced there is something wrong with you
Feeling anxious and sad believing no one understands how isolated you feel
Losing your ability to be self assured and feeling "invisible"
Not willing to accept change and to try anything new
Feeling as though nothing else matters and entertaining suicidal thoughts
Crowded Yet Isolated
Ever had that feeling that your wife or husband just doesn't understand you?
Your partner or significant other is right beside you yet it doesn't fill that void.
You may be surrounded by many people, yet their company drives you deeper into loneliness!
People feel that way because we are all unique and different.
You see:There is no one in the entire universe that will have the same personality, ideas, way of life and needs like you.
NONE! Not even twins! How can anyone fulfill all those needs to cater every individual?
How does this apply?
By understanding that other people are not obliged to fulfill our needs, we somehow learn to expect less from others and it eases the pain, because we stop expecting more from others!
We learn to accept them better and judge others less so it creates the first step to curing loneliness and giving others slack!
Remember that we are the sum of the people we spend most of our time with.
If you are mixing with a crowd that is negative and makes you feel down all the time,it is no surprise why you are lonely and negative.
It is no surprise that children move out from their homes away from negative parents or stop interacting with certain groups of friends all together.
Don't let the poison drain your energy.
Emotional Pains in a loveless World
How does the agony of loneliness seem to pierce the hearts of men and women all over the world?
Even great stars who have been the icon of generations and admired by millions feel unfulfilled (e.g.Kurt Cobain,Janis Joplin)
The feeling of loneliness is radically due to the failure of man in loving others.
The symptoms of loneliness magnetize the effects of the pain to the magnitude that it forces the focus of attention more on ourselves and creates a self-preoccupation that creates an obstacle to love others.
Ever had a stomachache? Who are you thinking of at that moment?
This simply illustrates the point that we are only thinking of ourselves.
It shows a terribly pain filled world in which we live in.Furthermore,the pain does go away like a stomachache.
The so called Mid-life crisis is turning more into a young adult crisis now with suicide rates hitting the roof and most diseases in the world today mentally induced or cured in psychiatric wards.
The basis of trust between people is eroding, and fewer people are opening up to one another.
By failing to open up to others,the lonely symptoms spring up as other people will not open up to you if you do not open yourself to others first.
It is said that if you want to be surrounded by friends, be a friend to others first.
Love is a Verb, Not The Feeling
Love, or rather the lack of it constitutes the loneliness breeding in a person's heart.
It is a scary fact to note that we are largely shaped by others (remember the sum of five people we spend most of our time with) who hold our destiny in THEIR hands.
We are what we are today, a product of those who loved us or have refused to love us.
Love gives life to others.
But what is most important is to remember is that in order to love someone else effectively, we must love ourselves first! You can not give what you don't have!
You may think you are in love with a beautiful girl or a handsome guy if you don't love yourself (there is a song that goes: I am nobody until I met you or my life is meaningless until you came into the picture) but that is not love.
You may admire that person because he or she is good looking, you may worship that person because you think he or she is better, you may even sacrifice your life for him or her for your own selfish, self-gratifying ego, but you do not love.
Love is a verb. It is an action.
The feeling of love is actually a product of the verb or action.
By loving yourself first, it forms the basis or foundation by which you love others without which it is merely a baseless act of self-deception that appears to be loving.
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